CHANGING PEOPLE, CHANGING RELATIONSHIPS...
I have refrained myself from talking and writing about this topic for a long time, but given the fact that a new incident or situation is told to me every other day, i cannot now hold my thoughts from shaping into words also because this particular thing affects not just me but many many people around me.
that dreaded issue and topic is: changing people, failing relationships particularly marriages which are ending sooner than expected in today's times. this is not something which has not been talked about and debated about in the society and in social media but despite the endless discussions, we all seem to have accepted that this is the fate of relationships today and i guess we are too busy and engaged in our lives that we really do not have the genuine concern for others anymore, there are two aspects in this article: let me talk about the first one
in a time when telephones and letters have been replaced by watsapp, hike, instagram and facebook the way we felt and cared for our family our friends and near and dear ones has undergone a major transformation. gone are the days when we would wait till midnight to call up our friend and wish him/her on their birthday, gone are the days when we would be scolded for forgetting a frriend's birthday, gone is the time when we would pick up the fone and chat with our loved ones for endless hours. because today, it is all about telling the world every trivial detail of our life through social media. today there is no scope for forgetting someone's birthday as it would automatically pop up on facebook as a birthday reminder or infact the birthday boy/girl himself would change their status message declaring to the world that today is their special day and expecting hundreds of wishes in return, i am no aged person i am myself 30 years old and someone who reads this may say whether i have become so old fashioned to be writing all this but it does not really matter who relates and agrees to my point of view or not.
looking at the numerous updates on facebook, it is as if today the biggest agenda and motive of anybody's life is to have the maximum number of freinds on facebook, to update your best pic on FB and then wait for the number of likes to reach 100 and then keep posting messages like "thanks a lot guys for your compliments" and so on. it is as if each and every moment of a person's personal and professional life is being projected and publicised on facebook with the intent of showing to the world how much they are enjoying their life, how much famous they are, how beautiful they look, or what a wonderful place they visited recently. the list just goes on and on.
it has affected all of us including me as today in most cases i also resort to leaving a message on facebook/watsapp wishing someone on their special occassions and the need to call them and hear their voice seems to be vanishing away. out of the 200 friends on FB in our list, i am sure i genuinely do not bother and care about 75% of them but they are still in my friend list since i was associated /acquainted with them at some point in my life. when i see people uploading 100 photos of their recent trip or recent event at one go and then click like on their own pics themselves even before someone else comments on them with the status "had a great vacation" ; what a holiday etc i just cannot stop myself from being amused at the fact that since when did we become so damn needy of people's appreciation of us, since when did "having a great time" become sucha big deal, do people who do not party or go for vacations do not stay happy? do people who do not look their best each day not worthy of anything, is it so damn necessary to have people love you and like you and in some way be jealous of your feats/achievements that we are ready to bare out our soul to the world today.
i dont know if it amazes anyone else here. but it does amaze me each day and each moment.
a natural corollary of the way people's thinking and living has changed is failing marriages even within 1-2 years of newly wed couples. i have seen it with my own close friends and each time it hurts me and makes me feel why the two of them could not work it out, why they could not give each other some more time, what could have happened in a mere span of six months-one year that it so damn difficult to even stay with your partner in the same house anymore.? it is not that each of such marriage is failing without a reason. but whenever i tried to go deep into why a close friend of mine got divorced or separated so early the answers could not convince me.
it was as if the girl or the male partner (case to case basis) is simply not affected by the fact that it is a marriage which is breaking down. it is definitely all about priorities but it is as if some people are so happy and independent in their own careers their own set of friends, their financial capability that the need to have an emotional support, a partner a friend isnt prevalent in them anymore. like anything else, they feel money can buy them happiness also. with spending more than 12 hours in their demanding jobs and coming home most of the times to simply sleep off, most couples are losing it simply because they have forgotten that it is the simple art of communication which binds two people together.
marriages are failing not because of any major reason but for reasons which are not even identifiable and justifiable and simply that a couple does not feel the same love anymore and does not want to stay together anymore. i am all for women independence being a working educated woman myself who likes working and would not be so happy sitting at home wasting her degrees but it is as if for some people their professional growth , their carreer is so important that they are ready to sacrifice their relationships just to get those extra bucks or that much wanted promotion. at the cost of sounding pro male and anti feminist i have also observed that in many cases it is the girls/women category who due to their sudden freedom, independence are not ready to alter their lifestyle for their partner and are so money minded that they do not mind switching to another new partner who could simply provide her the luxuries of life she desperately wants.
no marriage no relationship is perfect nor would be mine but all i feel is that even though we are moving forward in time but the way we live, the way we think today and the way relationships are being formed, broken and maintained is not a positive sight and i am afraid if i also do not fall into this trap some day.